When Fate Says "Go"

Time is something I will never be able to fully grasp.  There are days that seem to fly by and then those that seem to be lasting forever.  Funny how it’s the days we want to last forever that seem the shortest, yet the moments and memories feel endless when we look back.  I think about the people I see everyday that have become pieces of my life.  The ones I would begin to feel off if they weren't there.  And then the ones who show up for only a couple of months or years but leave such a big mark.  I can’t help but wonder why they didn't stay longer or I didn't find them earlier.  I never used to understand what people meant when they said life flies by.  But now I’m starting to understand it.  Time is an interesting little thing.  Sometimes it’s your best friend while other times it’s your enemy.  Time can rip us apart or hold us together.  But there is no trend that it follows.  It just follows along and pops in when fate says “go”.  In life nothing seems consistent.  People come and go events happen and stories are written, all the while time is there.  Sometimes it’s hiding and letting everything unfold while sometimes it gets right smack in the middle of everything so visible and unavoidable we want to scream at it to go away.  As much as I hate to say it, time always finds a way to be right.  Even when it’s hardest to accept it, it always does the right thing in the end, I think.  But I never seem to fully realize it until later when time has allowed me to mull it all over again and again and again. Time is a love-hate relationship.  And it’s taught me that life is too short to postpone anything.  

In This Place

I like to look back.  I like to remember what it was like before I entered this place.  Before, it felt as if I was wandering around, sleep walking through my life.  The people were the same, the places were the same.  I had those I could call my friends, but they were just a number.  It’s clear now what true friendship is.   I found a group that I can call my own.  My family away from home.  I’m slowly building a home here too.  When I came to this place, I wasn’t sure if I should settle.  I like to second guess things, doubt them to test their credibility.  But it didn’t take long.  It didn’t take long for any doubts to disappear.  This is where I am meant to be.  I woke up.  I woke up and discovered that there was so much more to life than what I was living.  No more pretending, no more walls.  I discovered myself and found out I liked her.  And other people liked her too.  So I took off the covers and wore my own skin.  I’ve learned a lot in just one year.  I’ve made mistakes and I’ve claimed my place.  No more re-reading the past, no more resisting the future.  I am content.  Right here, in this place.  Holding the hands of people I have come to love.  I am never letting go of them.  We like to live, be goofy, laugh loudly and just be us together.  I am lucky.  And I will be forever grateful for that, and never forget it.  Growing up isn’t easy and I know that I am nowhere near ready to do it but I know that I can do it.  And I know that I won’t have to do it alone.  If there is one thing that I have learned to be true, it’s that everything happens for a reason.  And somehow, someway, we might just figure it out.